So, how do you juggle being a mother and a company owner? This question has been asked of me more than I can remember, and every time I hesitate. Not that I lack the answer, but certainly there is an implied silence in the question. Women almost always ask this question. Even my own co-founder rarely asks this question. The fact in itself shows the extent to which our ideas about work, care, and leadership are tied to outdated expectations.
And it is not just a personal annoyance. It is a larger social issue. The question women in industries are asked is the same, but it is typically asked with concern, disbelief, and often judgment. And in the middle of it all, it supports a message that women have to make a choice, balance, sacrifice, or reason. This blog does not aim to provide a subjective explanation. It is a statement to all working mothers who have been told to justify their wishes.
Balance implies that there is a fight between two powers. One side represents business, while the other represents family. There can be stress in one area and guilt in another. However, that is not my style of life. Family and work are not opposite poles. They are the right and left hemispheres of the same identity. I am not just a mother of three children; I also lead an organization. I lead two lives, both of which live, develop, and define me.
However, society expects women to strive for an unachievable ideal balance. The unrealistic demands of doing things perfectly bring about greater guilt than development. When a mother arrives home late from work, she feels that she is missing important moments with her family. She believes that she is losing out on the job when she is with her child. Such expectations are not natural. They are inherited.
The moment I ceased pursuing a fictional balance and actively engaged in integration, everything changed. My children see me work. They see me leading, making decisions, struggling, learning and persevering. And those peeps are life lessons. By no longer playing along with the idea that motherhood and leadership are mutually exclusive, or vice versa, we are providing the new generation with something more profound. Life does not consist of options or roles. The key is to mature through all of these roles.
The question must not be, “How do you balance?” The actual question is: which support systems help women flourish?
The burden does not rest solely on women to perform all tasks. Are workplaces, families, and societies conducive to women’s thriving?
I would be able to do what I do because I was supported. Family support. Flexible work. The partner firmly believed in shared responsibility. A co-founder who never felt that motherhood was a weakness. The organization prioritizes results over outdated policies.
Imagine what women worldwide could do if these support systems were the norm. Businesses can influence the establishment of flexible, collaborative, inclusive cultures in which women do not need to compromise their careers and their children. It is the responsibility of the global community to ensure that this happens.
Women can do it. Women have always done it. The real question is whether society is ready to change and allow women to prosper without bearing the full brunt themselves.
You do not have to choose. You do not have to apologize. You are not required to conceal some part of yourself. There is no need to make your goals small to accommodate the smaller minds in society.
I am a mother. I am a co-founder. I am a teacher. I am a partner. I am many things at once. And I will not decide one over the other.
You are entitled to make that choice.
